This world can turn me down but I won't turn away; and I won't duck and run, cause I'm not built that way.

Sorry for my recent absence. Just wasn't much inspired to write the last few days. I am back, though, and time to brave the world of well known music. This line comes from the song "Duck & Run" by 3 Doors Down.

I've loved this song from the first time I ever heard it. It has always inspired me, no matter how many times I hear it. To stand your ground, and fight for what you believe in. Don't be intimidated by anyone, and don't sacrifice your beliefs for any reason. I wish more people were like this, but so many will back down and apologize at the first sign of a confrontation. Perhaps 3 Doors Down is trying to tell all of us something with this song? That more of us should fight for what we love and for our beliefs? I would like to think so.

I suppose this will be a shorter post, but I feel I got my point across.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUQTJUDDIs

All this running around, well it's getting me down. Just give me a pain that I'm used to.

Yes, I have returned to Depeche Mode. I warned you in an early post (my first?) that they are my favorite band, so you shouldn't be too shocked by this. This is the first line of the chorus to the song, "A Pain That I'm Used To." I had a great deal of difficulty deciding on one specific line from this song. There's so many great ones.

Have you ever dated anyone who had huge plans for the both of you and the future? They're always talking about how wonderful things will be in 6 months? A year? 5 years? You're not even sure if you'll be wanting to be with them in 5 days, let alone 5 years. I've dated someone like that, and their constant planning of my future made me very tired and depressed. I couldn't keep up with them and a new, different exciting plan every day. By the end of it, I wanted out. I wanted to go back to being single, even though I hated it so badly before the relationship. At least with being single, it was something I knew. Something I could deal with. I really understand how someone can want to go back to "a pain that I'm used to."

Here's a link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1mp5m_depeche-mode-a-pain-that-im-used-to_music

I'm so sick, infected with where I live. Let me live without this emptiness, selfishness...I'm so sick.

Flyleaf. They've become fairly popular ever since this song hit the radio, and people argue over them being Christian Metal or not. This song is called, "I'm So Sick."

Have you ever lived somewhere and wanted to move? You feel out of place where you're at? Feel like you're social stigma for any number of reasons? I often feel that way. Sure, I have friends and family around here who accept me for who I am, and I thank them for that. But outside of just a handful of people, I feel like I'm not really welcome in my part of the world. I want to get out of here and see what it's like in other parts of the world. Maybe I'll later realize it's not so bad here, and maybe I'll never want to return. I won't know until I get the opportunity to find out.

So perhaps this was more of a selfish entry in my blog. I try to have more of a point or commentary with this blog, but I suppose even I lapse from time to time.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIADZKU9dw

Everywhere I go, I am spellbound. I will break this spell you put on me.

I think it's time for a different style. This song is called "Spellbound" and is by the amazingly talented Lacuna Coil. They come out of Italy and are the biggest influence on Evanescence.

This song could be considered to be talking about breaking off a bad relationship, but it has a deeper meaning than that. It's actually referring to our own society. I talked about this a little in my first post. We turn on our TV's, or our radios, or pick up the newspaper. We watch, listen, and read about what society wants us to watch, listen, and read about. Society controls what we know and therefore what we think. They have us spellbound.

People often ask me why I don't watch the news, or why I listen to obscure music rather than what is on the radio, or even like weird foreign films. This is why. I want to have my own thoughts. I want to watch, listen to, and read about things outside of what is socially acceptable. I don't want to be another sheep in the flock of society. Yes, this can often lead to me thinking and saying things that society looks down on. But I don't care, because the thoughts are my own, and not what have been planted in my head.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l97nezRRsns

I'll never love someone quite the way that I loved you

Since I was previously talking about love, my mind turned to the concept of lost love. As soon as I started pondering this, I immediately knew it was time to introduce my readers to V.A.S.T. It's an acronym that stands for Video Audio Sensory Theatre. This song is called, "Touched." Some of you may have heard it before but not known the name of the song or band.

It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I'm sure we have all heard this quote before. It makes me wonder if whoever first said it had never loved before. I'm not sure I'm entirely convinced by this saying. I have loved and lost, and I can't think of a single more painful experience in my life. Yes, over time, the pain lessened and was dulled. However, I have resigned myself to having it be there for the rest of my life. Even when I fall in love again, there is always that loss. Nothing will replace the previous love, or be exactly like it. So, my conclusion...to have loved and lost is equally as painful as to have never loved at all. They are simply two different aspects of an emotion.

I don't want to be misunderstood, though. Yes, I have loved and lost. I do not regret it for a minute, though. If I could go back in time and change what happened, I wouldn't. Not one day, one hour, one minute, one second. Perhaps this is what is meant by that quote? I don't know, and do not consider myself enough of a scholar or philosopher to debate the subject.

Here's the link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3zqbh_vast-touched_music

Did I need to place my heart in the palm of your hand before I could even start to understand?

Alright, I think it's time for a return to Depeche Mode. This line comes from the song "Only When I Lose Myself." Like so many other songs by this band and many others, this is a love song.

The power of love is an amazing thing. In the matter of minutes, a man who is so depressed that he is not living but simply existing can turn into the happiest man you have ever laid eyes upon. It can soften a hardened heart. It can turn a pessimist into an optimist. I have seen it time and again. I also have experienced it. Everything changed around me. But different people experience different types of love. This song talks about the one I tend to experience the most. You meet someone, and it's an almost immediate click. You fall head over heels for them. You lose yourself in the feelings of happiness and love. Only then do you feel that you find who you really are. Only then do you feel that life can be good.

Here's the link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xbyc2_depeche-mode-only-when-i-lose-mysel_music

I'm about to change your pretty mind, I'm about to change your pretty life

I figure that as long as we're discussing Jakalope, I'd just go on to a line from my favorite song of theirs. It is titled, "Pretty Life."

I really feel this applies to me. For those few who don't know, I have a physical disability. This makes it difficult or even impossible for me to do many things that most people do without thinking about. For example, walking up and down stairs. So when I meet people who end up being my friends or I end up dating, my presence changes things for them. They have to start changing the way they look at things. Their life changes around them, even if only in small amounts. I "change their pretty life."

However, it's more than just my disability. The older I get, the more I realize my thought patterns are drastically different than those around me. Maybe it's just my local culture, maybe not. I don't know, but I think of things and notice things most people don't or can't unless it's pointed out to them. I know many of my thoughts would be considered dark and twisted by most. I like to believe, though, that I have helped people see things in a new way. I "change their pretty mind."

Ok, so this post is very self-centered. Isn't that what blogs are for, though? Allowing someone to talk about themselves?

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t1EglpxYew

I don't want to choose wrong from right, I love how you make me fight.

Back to something a bit more obscure. This is from a band called Jakalope, coming out of Canada. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) helped them a lot. But talking about band history is not what this blog is about. The name of the song is, "Light After Night."

I haven't been able to figure out what the song as a whole is about, but this line jumps out at me. You willingly give total control of your life over to another person. You let them worry about the right and wrong of a situation. Whatever they have you do, you find yourself enjoying it. Nothing else can provide a rush quite the same way.

There's mainly two times when a person would do this. The first is very dangerous, and that is when your lust is in control. You've just met this person, you both want something physical, and the future doesn't matter. But you don't know them, or what they'll have you do. When you regain control, will you have done things you'll regret? Did you hurt someone? Are you in jail?

The second situation is much the same in nature, but it is when you have completely fallen in love with the person. You trust them completely and believe they will only have you do things that are good and will make you a better person. This can also lead in disaster, but much more long term. If you have fallen in love with the wrong person. Someone who undermines who you are and slowly changes that, corrupting you. On the other hand, it can also be the ultimate wonderful experience if you have fallen in love with the right person. They will strengthen you, lift you up, fight for you and with you, be your best friend. You will go on a wonderful ride, and at the end, you will smile at the great memories you shared with this person.

I hope I can find a person who I can give control to, or will trust me and love me enough to give me control. I want to go on that wonderful ride.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XZeD_otKA4 (It's a fan made video and mislabeled title, but it's the song that's important.)

I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed

Time for a huge deviation from Emilie Autumn. Now we explore Evanescence, a band many people are familiar with. This line comes from the song Away From Me, which is off their album/demo "Origin."

Have you ever been so sure of something, with no doubt, that you went after it mind, body, and soul? Have you ever been in the middle of going after something and then later realized that things changed around you, they weren't what you thought or what they appeared? I have. I bet almost everyone has. The line from this song refers to a romance. You are so totally, madly in love with a person and over time, the relationship changes and eventually dies. You wake up one morning and everything that made you so sure that this person was who you wanted to spend forever with is now gone. It doesn't necessarily need to be linked to love, though. It could be a career, a friend, or any other number of things.

I don't really have anything specific to say with this post. I just like this song quote and can relate to it.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSZ_B2wjbpc

If I am lolita, then you are a criminal and you should be killed by an army of little girls

Warning: The following post is very dark with a mature theme. Read at your own discretion. You have been warned and I will not be held responsible if you are offended.

Ah, Emilie Autumn. Beautiful, talented, and downright amazing. Well, in my opinion anyway. This line comes from her song, "Gothic Lolita." It's a song about pedophilia from the point of view of the victimized little girl.

I don't care how anyone attempts to justify it, doing something like that to a girl is sick and wrong. There are not many things a person can do in this world that I will find unforgivable. Rape, especially of a little girl, is at the top of that list. I feel that any man (or woman) caught doing this should be executed on the spot. No trial, no media hype, nothing. They are beyond help.

Some people would argue that no one is beyond help. That we should reach out to everyone, despite their crimes. So I would counter with this: Imagine you have a daughter. 5 years old. Innocent. Trusting. You go out for a night and hire a babysitter. Being the responsible parent you are, you have surveillance set up in your house. You can't be too careful these days, after all. You come home and the babysitter leaves. You check the tape to make sure everything went alright. Then you see it...the babysitter had sexually abused your innocent daughter. Now, I'm not a parent myself, but I am an uncle. I dearly love my niece and nephews. As everyone in my family would, I would go the lengths of the world for them. I can't even imagine the rage I would feel as an uncle finding out someone had done that to my family. I know it would be magnified a thousand times over if it was my own child.

Would you be so different? Would your rage be any less? Would you still want to reach out and try to help the person who had done that to your daughter? Somehow, I seriously doubt it.

Here's the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaFFgfhzNGg

Let me hear you make decisions without your television

I'll start off with a quote from my all-time favorite band, Depeche Mode. The song is called Stripped, and in it's entirety, is obviously a song about lust. However, this quote, when taken away from the rest of the song, is quite profound. How often in our society today do we sit in front of a TV or computer monitor? I'm doing it as I'm typing this. You're doing it as you're reading this. Many people will come home from a long day of work, throw a TV dinner into the microwave, and sit down in front of the TV for the rest of the night. Yes, it's very relaxing, and it's very easy. You can sit there and not think about anything for hours on end. However, I feel this line is trying to tell us something. What is that? That after so many mind-numbing hours in front of the TV, something happens to us. We stop thinking for ourselves. We accept more readily whatever is put in front of us. We quit questioning things. I agree with this concept. Here's an idea. Next time you come home from work, instead of sitting in front of the TV and watching mind-numbing shows, how about you leave the TV off, turn on a lamp, open a book, and read? If you'd like, you could also turn on some music for the noise factor. There are billions of books out there. Don't like the one you picked up? There are others. It's only a matter of time until you find a good one.

Here's the link to the song: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1w8j7_depeche-mode-stripped_music

Explanation of intent

I love music. Well...most music. Some of it makes me angry. Some of it puts me to sleep. Most of my favorite music, however, is what most people would call eclectic. I listen to singers and bands that will never become main stream. The reason for this is because I feel they have more emotion and are more connected with the music they write and perform. Now money doesn't always change how people act, but it is a common thing. I could point out several bands I feel lost a lot of their motivation behind their music when they got money. However, that is my opinion, so I won't name the bands in case any of my (hopeful future) readers get offended by it.

So the goal of this blog is to try and explain to those who care what my music does to my head. It touches me. Gives me ideas. In a way, it helps define who I am. I will take a quote from a song. I will analyze the quote and I will explain how it affects me. If anyone is interested in hearing the song that the quote comes from, I will also post a link to the song. However, I know not many people like my musical tastes, so I will not be hurt or offended if people do not click the link. I am simply providing it for those who are curious.

And away we go....